Anti-Dynasty #13: 2001-15 Detroit Lions

Peak Anti-Dynasty Points: 82
Record: 78-162 (.325)
Average DVOA: -13.3%
Bottom-Five DVOA: -32.4%
One last-place finish in the NFL, Four last-place finishes in the NFC, Nine last-place finishes in the NFC Central/North
Head Coaches: Marty Mornhinweg, Steve Mariucci, Dick Jauron, Rod Marinelli, Jim Schwartz, Jim Caldwell
Key Players: QB Matthew Stafford, QB Joey Harrington, RB Kevin Jones, RB Joique Bell, WR Calvin Johnson, WR Roy Williams, TE Brandon Pettigrew, T Jeff Backus, T Gosder Cherilus, G Stephen Peterman, G Rob Sims, C Dominic Raiola, DE Cory Redding, DE James Hall, DT Shaun Rogers, DT Ndamukong Suh, LB DeAndre Levy, CB Dre’ Bly, K Jason Hanson
Z-Score: 5.24

We have talked about teams that outstayed their welcome on this list before, but the 2011-2015 Lions are the standard-bearers. Jim Schwartz and Jim Caldwell's squads were solid, putting up DVOAs of at least -1.2% every year between 2010 and 2015. They just couldn't put together back-to-back winning seasons throughout the first half of the 2010s. Those years of positive DVOA damage the Lions' overall standings here. The 2001-2009 Lions averaged a -25.0% DVOA, with the third- and fourth-worst teams in DVOA history. THOSE Lions are the ones that earned this spot, and more. Cut those final seasons out, extract the pure core of terribleness that Matt Millen and others put together at the turn of the century, and you'd crack the top 10.

Millen had had a successful NFL career and a lengthy stretch as a broadcaster before he was approached by William Clay Ford to serve as de facto general manager. Millen had never worked in a front office, never worked in any sort of player management capacity. He told Ford that he was not qualified for the position. Ford told him he would figure it out. He didn't.

Millen was tasked with rebuilding a team that had just lost Barry Sanders to a shocking early retirement, where head coach Bobby Ross had just quit midseason over a team that wouldn't "fight back" when confronted with adversity. Millen was given near complete autonomy to recreate the team in his own image. His own image apparently included an over-reliance on toolsy receiver prospects. Sometimes that worked out—Calvin Johnson needs no introduction, and Roy Williams was a solid player for half a decade. But Williams came sandwiched between Charles Rogers and Mike Williams, a pair of top-10 busts at the position; Rogers busting from injuries and drug problems, Williams from a lack of work ethic and a weight problem. Joey Harrington and Jeff Backus weren't exactly all-time winners either.

Not that Millen's head-coaching decisions were much better. His first choice was Marty Mornhinweg, who had won a Super Bowl ring working with Brett Favre in Green Bay. Much like Adam Gase two decades later, Mornhinweg built his reputation thanks to working with one of the greatest quarterbacks to ever play the game, and it didn't translate so well when working with Charlie Batch. In the popular imagination, Mornhinweg's legacy is summed up by electing to kick the ball in sudden-death overtime against Chicago, concerned about the wind more than about the Bears marching down the field and kicking the game-winning field goal. What Mornhingweg's legacy probably should be is a pair of double-digit-negative offensive DVOAs, but then, that's every Lions team from 2001 to 2009. Mornhinweg couldn't revive the offense, but then, neither could Steve Mariucci on the rebound from San Francisco, or Mike Martz with the Greatest Rerun on Turf. All of that failure led to Millen being fired in 2006.

Wait, no, I'm sorry, all of that led to Millen being given a long-term extension after 2006, with the Fords calling Millen the best general manager the franchise had ever had. An extension, after an 0-24 start on the road, after so many draft busts, after terrible free agent pickups, after years of "Fire Millen" chants. In an interview before the 2008 season, Millen admitted the team had been "beyond awful," and that it was part of his job to be blamed. A 31-84 record as general manager sure engenders a lot of blame!

And that doesn't include all of 2008. Millen was finally fired early in that year, but the damage had been done. Rod Marinelli, Dan Orlovsky, and the rest of the 2008 Lions did the unthinkable, completing the first 0-16 season in NFL history. While they were later joined by the 2017 Browns, Lions fans can rest easy knowing that their season was significantly worse—a -44.1% DVOA compared to Cleveland's -28.1%. The 2017 Browns were a little unlucky to lose all their games. The 2008 Lions? They had just 2.8 estimated wins that season. The memories are seared into the minds of Lions fans—Orlovsky running out of the back of the end zone for a safety. Marinelli yelling at a reporter "we're not 0-10! YOU'RE 0-10!" Center Dominic Raiola inviting fans to come to his house to fight him. Being blown out, 47-10, in front of a national audience on Thanksgiving Day. Joe Barry, the defensive coordinator, was Marinelli's son-in-law; after putting up the sixth-worst defensive performance of the DVOA era, Marinelli was asked by a reporter "do you wish your daughter married a better defensive coordinator?" All of it came together to be the fourth-worst team in DVOA history.

And, of course, 2009 saw the Lions put up the third-worst mark in DVOA history. A fitting end to a decade of despair.